Friends
+ Motivation + Mentoring + Fear = NALS
By
Caryn S. Wolchuck, PP, PLS, CPS/CAP
Why
did we first join NALS? Was it because we had a
friend who invited us to attend a meeting? You
may have said to yourself, “Why bother?” Or “I
don’t have time for that.” We have
busy lives, with family and children and other activities. In
reality, however, the time you spend bettering yourself
is time well spent. The key to association membership,
of course, is networking. By attending conferences
and seminars, you take your membership one step further
and join your friends for educational, informative, fun
and productive times. You then go home and tell
your family members and friends, and most importantly,
your colleagues, what you learned and why they should
plan on attending the next seminar or conference.
Not
only does networking provide the opportunity to meet
individuals who share a common interest; it can also
spark the beginning of new friendships. We're all looking
for benefits of some kind. But, if you really think
about it, the main reasons are simple: to better
yourself and to better the legal profession. These
are the real benefits of this association.
How
can joining an association and sharing "your secrets" make
you a better legal professional? Again, the answer
is simple. Look around you, wherever you look,
you may find those with more experience and those with
less. You will always find a legal professional
who has a better way of doing things and you’ll
certainly find a legal professional who could learn something
you already know. When you meet and share what
you know, you learn. And if you learn just one
thing, you become a better legal professional and the
entire legal profession benefits.
A few
months ago, my friend Jayne said to me, after I was complaining
about not having any “free” time, that I
should give up something. Give up NALS, give up
bunco, give up bingo, she said! What? I could
do that as easily as I could give up chocolate.
Jayne
just returned from her grandmother’s 100th birthday
celebration in Muscatine, Iowa. Her grandmother,
Mary Ella Merrick, was recently featured in the local
newspaper because she is the oldest performing member
of the local chapter of Sweet Adeline International. She
is in fact the oldest living member of the Sweet Adelines,
period. How does she do it? More importantly,
why?
Fellow
members of the Port City Pearl Chorus said that “performances
couldn’t occur often enough for Mary Ella!” Over
the years, she has contributed more than her voice to
the group and is currently—at age 100—serving
as recording secretary! She was never one to say “been
there, done that,” as she has served on the board
many times throughout the years since joining the group
in 1983.
The
same can be said for some of us, can’t it? We
live for the next NALS meeting. Just when we’ve
paid off the expenses for one trip, another one comes
along.
The
choral director states that Mary Ella “helps us
keep our perspective and is an encouragement to us all.” Mary
Ella has recently cut back on her volunteering. She
says “I’ve learned to say no. And when
you’re my age, people accept that.”
And
if you think that at age 100, Mary Ella just sits at
home and waits for a friend to drive her to the store,
think again! She lives alone, drives herself to
the YWCA daily to swim, she drives to the store, but
doesn’t drive at night. And while Mary Ella
speaks fondly of her past, she expresses equal enthusiasm
for the wonders of 21st-century technology. She
has a cell phone and uses email to keep up with her family,
which consists of nearly 60 grandchildren, great-grandchildren
and great-great grandchildren.
What
is Mary Ella’s motivation? Why does she continue
singing with the Sweet Adelines? Is it because
it keeps her young? Does she want to set a world
record? It’s probably because that’s
where her friends are. Lifelong friends. Mentors.
I have
often said that several NALS members, my mentors, have
been an encouragement to me, and I hope that you have
found, or will find, you one or several mentors in NALS.
I joined
NALS in 1989 and I have found several mentors along the
way to guide me. A past national president, several
past state presidents, chapter members: I am grateful
for their unwavering support of this organization and
for their years of service in building this association.
Like
you, I have made life-long friends through this organization. If
I hadn’t met Debbie Miller, for instance, I wouldn’t
be involved in a monthly home bingo or monthly bunco
game. And I’ve made friends across the country,
and I’ve been able to travel to locations such
as Nashville, Scottsdale, New Orleans, Greenville, Tulsa. I
have friends in Dayton, Seattle, Butte, and Milwaukee. I
know you will agree with me that joining NALS helps feed
your travel addiction, and gives you one more chance
to make new friends and renew old friendships.
Two
weeks ago, I became the only secretary in an office with
nine attorneys. I’m it for now and it’s
hard to leave the office to attend a conference, but
I did. I attended my regional conference because
there was no way I was going to miss this meeting. Notwithstanding
the commitment I made to the members when I was elected,
coming to conference might just have saved my life.
A paper
was recently written called “Social Isolation in
America.” The authors at first didn’t
believe that social connectivity in the U.S. had disintegrated
and set out to prove a Harvard University professor wrong
about his theory that the fabric of American communities
had frayed in the last 40 years. Professor Robert
Putnam, in his book entitled “Bowling Alone,” traced
declining memberships in PTAs, unions, clubs and, yes,
even bowling leagues. Now, this professor’s
theories have been studied and proven once again that
there are sharp generational differences among us. As
Professor Putnam says, baby boomers are more socially
marooned than their parents, and the boomers’ kids
are lonelier still. He believes the culprit for
this dilemma is the television. Questions arise
like “So what if the average American now has two
close friends, not three? Two is plenty.” But
we have discovered that membership in associations such
as NALS almost guarantees you more friends. Look
at this benefit of your membership: Social isolation
is as big a risk factor for premature death as smoking. Well-connected
people live longer, happier lives. Professor Putnam
believes we can solve this problem fairly easily by simply
getting more involved in our communities and spending
more time with family and friends. He states: “Family-friendly
workplaces would help too. Reaching out to a neighbor
or connecting with a long-lost pal (as we do at NALS
conferences) could just save your life.”
And
that’s why I belong to NALS and why I won’t
give up my monthly cards, bunco, or bingo. Those
activities are saving my life!
And
the fear part? I dread public speaking. I’m
told that I don’t look nervous when I stand at
the podium, but my sister can tell when I stop breathing. Or
I stutter. It’s not easy, and I don’t
like it. But it has to be done. Alistair
Cooke said “A professional is someone who can do
his best work when he doesn’t feel like it.” Perhaps
this article will be viewed as one of my best works.
I recently
read a quote from Rensis Lickert, an American educator
and organizational psychologist: “The greater
the loyalty of a group toward the group, the greater
is the motivation among the members to achieve the goals
of the group, and the greater the probability that the
group will achieve its goals.” Continue being
loyal to your chapters and states, to NALS and to your
regions. You’ll be glad you did!
