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Keep Your 'Self-Limiting' Beliefs in Check

Posted By Tashania Morris, ALS, Monday, February 19, 2018
Updated: Thursday, February 22, 2018

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us

By Mariane Williamson

 

Recently I was having a mini attack. I had all these self-limiting beliefs floating around in my mind.   I thought about the lofty goals I had set for myself, disappointments I encountered along the way, and failures I thought I was never going to bounce back from.  For a brief moment all I wanted to do was lay in a fetal position, cry, and feel sorry for myself.  “My goals are really scaring me,” I thought, “ how am I ever going to achieve them?”   Earlier that day I had applied to a program I was hoping to get into and by doing so, all of the sudden I was on  an emotional rollercoaster.  This was the challenge I needed to take my ideas to the next level and for the first time I was scared by the idea of both success and failure all at the same time.  Listed below are some of the thoughts that popped into my mind.  

  • Maybe I am not smart enough
  • Maybe I am not  good enough
  • Maybe this is just out of my league
  • What were you thinking?
  • What made me think I could do this?
  • This was not a good idea

Later that day, while attending a networking event, I was reminded by two different individuals, a friend/mentor and someone I had met the night before, just how truly awesome I am.  As I stood there and listened to both their stories, I realized I wasn’t in this alone, that my career wasn’t going to end simply because I decided to take another path.  I was reminded that:

  • I am smart
  • I am enough
  • This is within my league and, as a matter of fact, it felt silly to think otherwise
  • I was thinking about my son and leaving him a legacy
  • I know I can do this
  • This was a great idea

In that moment I decided I needed to create an I AM AMAZING file accompanied by a picture frame to act as a constant reminder of how amazing I am.  An I AM AMAZING file is a folder that has all my achievements, both personally and professionally.  It reminds me of all the amazing work I have already done, it also has the goals that I hope to achieve in the future along with deadlines and strategies of how they will be achieved.  I also have a picture frame that says “YOU ARE AMAZING.”  We are sometimes our harshest critic, forgetting how amazing we truly are.   

 

Things to put in the I AM AMAZING file

 

It should be separated by both your personal and professional accomplishments.  By doing this, you can easily provide documentation of your work to a potential employer, if needed.

  • Any achievements or certifications received
  • Emails received from a boss or client stating that you are doing a great job
  • Projects you have created detailing the impact you have made at work or in the community
  • Cards and letters received from friends, family, clients, work—anything that makes you feel fuzzy on the inside

 

Remember everything being placed in the file is supposed to remind you of your successes—not your failures.  Be very deliberate about what goes in there. 

 

Work on overcoming your limiting beliefs  

 

By nature I am a jovial person and an optimist—I try to see the good in everything and everyone until shown otherwise.  I don’t often dwell on failures or regrets.  I am extremely self-aware and can tell you what my strengths and weaknesses are at the drop of a dime.  For others, it might be a bit harder.  Some people see the glass as half full while others might see it as half empty.  I recommend replacing the negative feelings with positive ones.  You have to be honest with yourself about your capabilities and believe you can do it in order to convince someone else that you are capable of getting the job done.  Exuding a certain level of confidence is essential for people to buy into what you are selling. 

 

Sample—sometimes writing things out makes gives more clarity

 

Negative Thoughts

 

Replaced by positive thoughts

I can’t do it

I can do it

I am not good at my job

How can I get better at my job

 

Most of us would never talk to other people the way we speak to ourselves so I challenge you to be nice to you.  Create an I AM AMAZING file accompanied by a picture frame to act as a constant reminder of how awesome you are.  Take the steps you need to become self-aware so when these limiting beliefs resurface, you are able to decipher fact from fiction.  Be careful of the stories you tell yourself, Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed, I just found 10, 000 ways that didn’t work.”  Don’t ever forget how amazing you are.  

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