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How to Speak Up and Find Your Voice in Meetings

Posted By Kelly Konya, Grammarly Blog Writer, Wednesday, August 22, 2018
Updated: Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Meetings are like going to the dentist. Nobody really enjoys being there listening to the facilitator jibber-jabber like an adult in a Charlie Brown special.

The nightmare setup looks something like this . . .

You are the last one to walk into the companywide meeting on Monday morning. There are no donuts left. The only open seat is next to your boss. The atmosphere is, somehow, already tense—and you’ve forgotten to bring your report.

What’s worse: this meeting or having a cavity filled?

Okay, so maybe meetings aren’t always that bad. But they aren’t always the easiest place to express your opinions, either. If you’ve ever felt self-conscious speaking up in a meeting, you aren’t alone.

Meetings are the most common workplace setting where people are rendered speechless by nerves. But don’t write yourself off as an introvert just yet. Even people who regularly voice their concerns can struggle with being ignored or overpowered by bigger players in the meeting room.

With these tips, you can learn to articulate your thoughts and convey your ideas, no matter the meeting’s situation.

Master Your Meeting Prep

Once you have the meeting’s agenda, find something on it that you can speak confidently and passionately about. If you have a budding opinion about one of the agenda items, develop it into an insightful, practical statement. This way, you’ll feel more self-assured going into the meeting. Strive to put a new idea out there first.

If you’re absolutely stumped going into a meeting—well, first, maybe you shouldn’t be there. Second, you can offer one of these three typical meeting-style responses as you partake:

  • Ask a question
  •  Repeat what’s been said in your own words
  • Comment on what you’ve heard

Armed with a prepared response, you should arrive five to ten minutes before the meeting kicks off. Make small talk, find a seat, and settle in. You’ll be more comfortable with your own voice if you are comfortable in your surroundings. Once you’ve already spoken with people in the room, you’ll be more likely to speak up again.

Don’t Put Yourself Down

As human beings, we’re prone to speaking in negatives. Psychology calls it our brain’s “negative bias.” Think of how many times you’ve heard someone begin a statement with, “This might not be relevant, but . . .” or “I’m not sure this is right, but . . .”

When you begin a statement with a negative phrase, you automatically cast doubt upon your words. If you don’t believe in yourself and assert your ideas, nobody will. Think about it: whom do you look up to or view as a mentor? We bet they speak passionately, igniting an urge within you to believe and discover their same opinions.

While we are hardwired for negative bias, we don’t have to let this predisposition eclipse our words. Every meeting gives you a chance to reinvent yourself. Even if you’re not the office optimist, you can express your ideas any way you’d like. Be affirmative and tell it like it is.

Avoid Those Qualifiers

In a similar way that speaking negatively deflates your words, qualifiers add another, subtler layer of doubt.

Do you use words that lessen the impact of your ideas and opinions? Words that limit or enhance another word’s meaning are called qualifiers. Overusing qualifiers affects the specificity and certainty of your words, leading people in the meeting to dismiss your opinions.

Be aware of the qualifiers you use—both in e-mail and in conversation. Using the following words will automatically weaken your statements:

  • Actually
  •  Just
  • Almost
  • Kinda / Sorta
  • Sorry
  • Maybe
  • I think / I feel

Voicing sentences ridden with qualifiers will immediately make people question your credibility. Have a coworker listen to you speak. If your statements always include an unconscious qualifier or two, you should make a conscious effort to dispel them from your speech.

Practice Makes Persuasive

If you’ve really struggled to find your voice, start small. Speaking once or twice each meeting is good practice. Even if you’re in a smaller meeting, you can still challenge yourself. The more you speak over time, the more confident you’ll become.

Once you banish negativity and qualifiers, adopt some phrases that are clear and commanding. Phrases that are direct, like “Here’s my idea” or “I recommend,” will make a big difference in how people respond to you. Be mindful of your tone, but know that your thoughts are worth sharing.

Be aware of how quickly you speak and try your best to enunciate. In combination, practicing vocal clarity will translate to a newfound vocal confidence. Slowly but surely, using “power language” instead of passivity will give you new authority in meetings.


This article was originally posted on Grammarly.com/Blog and reposted with permission. You can view the original source here

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NALS Member Spotlight – Heidi S. Hopper, PP, PLS

Posted By Allison Streepey, B.A., CLP, Tuesday, August 21, 2018
Updated: Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Heidi Hopper, PP, PLS, made such a good impression at a recent national NALS event that she was recommended as a Member Spotlight again! This is good news because a lot has happened in four years, which lets us know what is possible as we make our way through our legal careers with the support of NALS.

 

Heidi works as a legal assistant at Foster Swift Collins & Smith, PC in Lansing, Michigan, where she has been for eight years.  She generally works in litigation and has back-up knowledge in municipal finances.  She describes the move from municipal finance to municipal litigation as a career highlight and says “but every day is a highlight.” After 20 years in the legal field, she has had many highlights in her career and the best ones are the most recent.

 

The first boost in her legal career when she was about to get a promotion in her job from receptionist to secretary at Dickinson Wright, PLLC in Lansing. “My boss at the time suggested that I join NALS to learn more about the legal field and to get acquainted with those in the legal community. I am forever grateful for her suggestion.”  This membership in NALS has allowed Heidi to “have a broad range of legal education and, through networking, has opened doors to friendship and sponsorships that may not have been otherwise possible.”

 

Her career in NALS has been highlighted in her service in the three levels of the association.  Currently, in her local chapter, NALS of Lansing, she is the Treasurer.  She has also been President twice and served as Vice President, Treasurer, and on several committees. The local chapter does many community service projects. “This year we will be visiting the Capital Humane Society as well as serving a meal at the Advent House, a ministry that brings together people of all faiths to give hope to impoverished and homeless people.”

 

In the state chapter, NALS of Michigan, her service is similar to the local chapter. She is currently Treasurer (for the second time), has been President, and has served on several committees. Heidi feels her greatest accomplishment in NALS is being state president and before that receiving the NALS of Michigan Legal Professional of the Year Award in 2017. Another highlight on the state level was working with the state chapter to produce the Visionary 5K Challenge that initiated and promoted the NALS of Michigan Scholarship Fund. Heidi said it “was a lot of work with marketing, planning, and hosting the event.”  Heidi says, “The Vasa pathway in Acme, Michigan is a beautiful area and a ‘must see’ while in Michigan.”

 

Heidi’s favorite project was when NALS of Michigan hosted a Murder Mystery CLE camping event in Covert, Michigan. Engaged members and guests had to solve the mystery, which included evidence gathering, jury voir dire, and putting the pieces together to determine who the murderer was—all while camping in a rainstorm!

 

On the national level in NALS, Heidi is a Cheerleader! The year Kathie Amirante was introduced as president in Tulsa, Heidi lead the cheer:

 

Here ye (yeah); here ye (yeah)

This meeting shall come to order.

What multi-level organization

That is sweeping the nation?

NALS; Hear it again, NALS

 

If you are looking for legal education

Or professional certification

Where do you go? You know!

NALS; Hear it again, NALS

 

With their online learning sessions

And their networking opportunities

NALS offers it all in one great fashion.

 

I am a member, he's a member,

She is a member, we're a member

Wouldn't you like to recruit a member today?

 

Be a member, be be a member.

NALS (Yeah)

 

Heidi describes what she has gained through NALS membership, especially as a leader, “has personally assisted me to understand what makes a good role model and how to interact with others.”  Heidi loves to mingle at NALS events. “I like meeting people and enjoy hearing stories of our members and guests on which roads led them to where they are today.”

 

Heidi’s favorite activity in all of NALS is education, especially learning new technological advancements, as she remains a student at heart. She feels that NALS has given her a second family and says that “participation is key to your success.”  The best advice she has been given in legal work is to not take anything personally and to remember that “everyone has an ego. It’s what you do with it that matters.”

 

Heidi is “married to a loving supporter, Michael Hopper, for 19 years and they have one child, 10-year old Taylor, unless we count our one cat, Tom, and one dog, Tiger.  My son and I are planning an overnight hike and kayak trip this summer.” Her spare time is spent with family—camping, biking, skiing, eating and playing games. She also likes to unwind with a book and a glass of wine.  Her favorite book is The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. “It gives a perspective of life through communication, love, loyalty, and hope between pets and family.”

 

Heidi has other interesting hobbies too.  She plans to do a wood painting and transfer a picture of her father for his gravesite. She would love to create concrete hummingbird feeders for friends.  In the immediate future, she wants to build a bench to sit on while soaking her feet in the pool.

 

One thing has not changed in four years. This quote from Heidi’s NALS Member Spotlight, March 2014:

 

Heidi says “NALS remains top notch in a competitive market for legal education which, in turn, will provide and improve opportunities to enrich staff, legal secretaries, paralegals, attorneys, human resource administrators, and others in preparing them to perform well in their jobs. The value of my NALS membership is never ending—from legal education, social marketing, social outings, and the available information from those across the country is simply priceless! Thank you NALS for allowing me to be a part of this significant family!”

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Ask Eula Mae: How to Prioritize a Mess

Posted By NALS Editorial + Marketing Board, Thursday, June 14, 2018
Updated: Monday, June 25, 2018

Dear Eula Mae:

 

I work in a relatively small law firm with three attorneys and three legal assistants.  Two of the bosses were out of town today when one of the legal assistants was fired.  I was assigned the duty of getting her files and other tasks in order before her boss comes back.  It turns out that she was a real mess, disorganized and only did what she had to do and didn’t file anything back in the file room.  I even found unpaid bills!  I’m worried that I won’t be able to get all of this straight with the duties that my boss assigned me before he left.  Can you help?

 

--Afraid in Alabama


Dear Afraid in Alabama:

 

Sometimes you just have to face what has been given to you.  I can tell you that it will probably take more thinking power than doing power to get things in order.  Wouldn’t it be great if you could get it done and ready for signatures by the time the attorneys get back? You can do it!   

 

The most efficient way to begin tackling this mess is to put like items together before processing.  You will need a space to spread out the stacks of paperwork, some sticky notes, and a pencil. Gather all the things that need to be done from the fired person’s desk and try to think about how you can group all of the documents and files into categories such as bills, documents to proof and sign, ready to file, ready to mail, etc. Write the category name on a sticky note and make room to build groups of like items. Pick up one document or file at a time, write the due date in pencil on the top right of the first page and place in the appropriate named category for processing. If there is no due date and it doesn’t fit in any of the categories and must be processed before going to the file room, make a separate stack for that. If there is no due date needed (not urgent), it will need its own stack too. This is the one that you will do last.

 

Then you will gather up each category in a stack for processing.  Pick up a stack and organize it in date order from oldest due date (on the top of the stack) to the newest (on the bottom of the stack).  Do that with every stack.  Look for the oldest date of all the stacks.  That is the category that you will complete first (urgent). Items for the file room are not as urgent and can wait a little longer.

 

The purpose of this process is two-fold—you will feel like you are in control of the situation and you will only have to think about the steps for each task one time. There is something about repetition that will help you move through the stack with ease.  After you have completed your part of all items in that stack, then take it where it needs to go for the next step, which is usually the boss’s office. 

 

Next, look for the oldest date in the remaining stacks and start again with that one.  The stacks with no due dates are not urgent, but still need to be handled.  For the one that still needs processing, assign a date to complete it.  For the final stack that needs to be filed in the file room, schedule 30 minutes at the end of the day on Friday to file these documents.

 

After you get a grip on the paperwork you inherited, it will probably make your job look easier. You will know exactly what to do to get ready for your boss’s return.  Be brave.  You can do all of this and more.

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How To Balance Your Life: Career + Family

Posted By Diane M. Stanley, RP (Houston ALP, Director), Thursday, June 14, 2018
Updated: Monday, June 25, 2018

There are so many components of life, from career to social life to self-care, that it can become difficult to balance each to the level of our own personal satisfaction and achievement.  There are a number of ways to better achieve balance in life, we just need a dose or two of self-reflection and extra effort to find time for everything.  We are healthiest and happiest when our needs are met.

 

Balance and self-care are vital to one’s mental and physical being, so we must fuel ourselves appropriately.  Sleep, diet, and exercise on a daily basis are essential components of a proper life balance. The lack of either inhibits our power source, the mind, as well as our relationships, both personally and professionally.

 

Everyone has different areas of focus in their daily lives, but should you find your time is primarily spent in just one area (i.e., work), try using the following methods to achieve more balance in your life.

 

  1. Utilize A Schedule. Planners and calendars can work, but be sure to include your self-care: exercise, down time, date night, family night, not just your task schedule and to-do lists.  Block the time and stick to it.

  2.  Be Spontaneous. Intentionally schedule a day, night, or weekend when nothing is scheduled. Do something fun locally, set the mood, and be creative.

  3. Know When To Say Yes And No. Be careful not to go overboard by being a giving person. Be careful not to burn bridges--bow out gracefully by explaining your situation – time constraints, prior commitments, etc.  “I wish I could help but I am stretched too thin right now. I may be able to donate some time next month if that will help.”  You may also know of someone else who would be willing to help, provided you have contacted them in advance.

  4. Check In With Yourself. Hello self!  How satisfied are you?  Are you happy with the direction you are going?  It is important to know what you want, so break away from the hustle and bustle of life and tune in to your feelings.

  5. Prioritize Self-Care. You must put your self-care first, providing strength to manage the stress in life that comes your way.  Fuel your mind and body with a healthy diet and exercise.

  6. Focus On A Balanced Week. Every day is not always perfect, so when the unexpected happens, and the boss needs you to work late, be sure to compensate yourself by shifting your schedule to add back the time and maintain your life balance.

  7. Document How You Spend Your Time. Create more free time by mapping out how you spend your time.  Keep a daily record for a couple of days, at 15-30 minute intervals, to actually see how you spend your day, just like you make a budget to track your spending.  Use the information to make small shifts when necessary to afford yourself time to do other things of your liking.

  8. Focus On The Good Relationships. Think about your relationships to bring more balance to your life.  Time is money, as they say, so if someone in your life is taking away energy from you, you might want to re-evaluate the relationship.

  9. Stick To Set Work Hours. Leave the work at work!  This does not mean leaving tasks unfinished.  Designate your time appropriately during the day to meet deadlines and avoid the stress of finishing on time.

  10. Picture What You Want In Life. See the big picture!  At the end of the day, what were you the most happy about? Did you wish for more?  Reflect back on your current life and see if you are in alignment with your life goals and aspirations.

  11. Ask For Help. Sometimes it is impossible to do everything on your own and a call for help is not a sign of weakness.  Seek out a support system, ask your spouse, friends, or a family member to help out in some area, giving you more time to spend with them!

It’s a win-win!

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Grammar Nuggets: Pronouns, Reflexive Pronouns, and Myself

Posted By Kathy Sieckman, PP, PLS-SC, ACP, Thursday, June 14, 2018
Updated: Thursday, June 14, 2018

While I’ve written about reflexive pronouns before, it is important enough that some of it bears repeating.

 

Pronouns are words that substitute for nouns and other pronouns. Personal pronouns are what we will be talking about here and they indicate the person speaking, the person spoken to, or the person or object spoken of. It is the Iyoumetheyhesheit of English. You typically choose the pronoun based on the person it is replacing. For instance:

 

·       She said it was too early (when she means Mary)

·       He drove his car like a maniac (where he means Bob).

 

The challenge comes with reflexive pronouns, which are pronouns that end in -self and reflect back on the pronoun previously mentioned. For example:

 

·       Mary said that it was hard to get up by herself 

·       Bill drove the car himself.

 

What is NOT correct is using the reflexive pronoun alone without it being able to reflect back on the pronoun. So, for instance, saying:

 

·       If you have any questions, talk to myself.

·       Tony and myself will go shopping for dinner today.

 

is not correct because in both places. Myself has nothing in the sentence to reflect back to. It should be:

 

·       If you have any questions, talk to me.

·       Tony and I will go shopping for dinner today.

 

Further examples are:

 

·       Send the meeting minutes to Bill and me (not myself) for approval 

·       Sue and I (not myself) are ready for vacation.

 

As for when to choose me and when to choose I, a little bit of adjusting and testing will make it easier to make the correct choice. For instance, in the sentences above:

 

·       If you have any questions, talk to me. You would say “talk to me” not “talk to I” and not “talk to myself,” so it should be “talk to me.”

·       Tony and I will go shopping for dinner today. If you were going by yourself, you would say “I will go shopping,” not “me will go shopping,” so “Tony and I will go shopping” is correct.

·       Send the meeting minutes to Bill and me for approval. Again, if you take Bill out, you would ask people to “send the meeting minutes to me for approval.”

·       Sue and I are ready for vacation. Take Sue out and you would say “I am ready for vacation.”

 

I hope all this makes it easier for you to use the proper reflexive pronouns when you’re talking about yourself (see what I did there?). Otherwise, I will continue to bang my head against the wall at hearing “myself” used inappropriately.

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